Gretafication – A New Syndrome

Written by Dr Klaus L E Kaiser

To begin with, the title is not a typo. Furthermore, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

As you may have read, there is a new type of virulence afflicting the world, particularly in Europe, i.e. the “Gretafication Syndrome.”

It has yet to find a foothold in the Americas and, perhaps never will (that would be just fine with me). If you or your offspring have yet to be affected, count yourself lucky and watch for any signs of an outbreak. The following is an abbreviated primer of the critical conditions:


For admission to this course, there are only few requirements, or benefits, including:

  • There are wide age limits: From five to 19 years of age.
  • There are no educational requirements.
  • There is next to no effort needed.
  • It’s an easy way to get time-off from school (or Kindergarten).
  • Some government representatives approve of it.
  • Some teachers may reward participants with “good citizenry” bonuses.

You may wonder, how did that affliction come into existence at all?

Some History Details

As far as I can reckon, the arrival of the Gretafication Syndrome coincided with the most recent World Economic Forum, held annually for decades now in Davos, Switzerland. That Pow-Wow brings together – by invitation only — the leaders, movers and shakers from all over the world. Various non-governmental groups (NGOs), especially Greenpeace, use the occasion to have their own “summit” then and there as well.

In one of those illustrious settings, the young lady Greta Thunberg (born in 2003), from Sweden, was invited to speak to the largely un-assembled crowd. Good Greta had already made a name for herself then by regularly skipping class on Fridays to go demonstrating in front of the Swedish parliament building in Stockholm. Her main concern, so it appears, was to persuade or coerce the people there and, if possible also elsewhere, to get on with the task of “saving the climate.”

To begin with, Greta and her rapidly swelling number of “climate-commiserates” in other European countries have exploded in numbers. For example, in Germany, there were numerous reports of public and high school pupils skipping class on Friday to demonstrate for “climate justice” and related ideas.  These “climate actions” were either supported or condoned by various high-level politicians, like Germany’s Chancellor, Angela Merkel, and have rapidly spread to FranceBelgium, the Netherlands, other European countries, and Australia.

Demonstration in Hamburg, Germany; credit:

Over the last few weeks though, the initial enthusiasm for skipping school and (potentially) failing the grade has substantially declined.  Or was the cold weather the problem?

But don’t smirk yet; it’s coming to a neighborhood near you, soon, i.e. on March 15, 2019. On that fateful day, known as the Ides of March, nearly 2,000 years ago, the Roman Empire began to slide into a long decline. This year on that date, a 13-year old girl from California, now living in New York City, wants to become the next activist of that climate-genre and is getting prepped to hold a big rally in the big apple. Of course, the “movement” is heavily relying on support from other “anti-carbonizers,” like, Greenpeace, Sierra Club, extinction, et al.

It’s premature to determine if that “movement” will get any foothold on this continent at all by then. However, that reminds me of my next task:

Prep Granddaughters for Climate-Activism

Clearly, I must start prepping my young (now 5 and 7 year old) granddaughters to become climate-justice warriors. With a little <del>coaxing</del> coaching effort they ought to be ready for prime time climate-activism soon. The climate needs that dearly, don’t you agree?

Also, don’t mind granny’s opinion; after all,

Gretafication really means “No school on Fridays.”

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Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser is author of CONVENIENT MYTHS, the green revolution – perceptions, politics, and facts Convenient Myths

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